You know the old saying "friends before hoes"? Well...it really isn't true. Once your friend gets someone, they will slowly drift apart from you. At first you're thrilled and happy for them, for finally getting someone if they never had someone and you knew you wanted someone. Yet while that, you're state of denial. You think things won't change between you two, because you're still the single one. You think things will be same, but those aren't. Your friend has changed and you watch how that friend of yours start move away. Slowly, but surely you watch how more distance comes between you two. You become then bitter, even maybe angry. It makes you angry that your friend won't have anymore time with you and they start make the rules when it's suitable for you two to meet. You might also feel guilty, for feeling angry because it's obvious it's their date's fault you two won't have time. You hear/read clauses such as 'I'm with my boyfriend then', 'can't make, sorry, I've late work' etc, etc. You try understand, you try understand so hard
, while feeling angry. There must be something wrong
with you, because you should be supportive and happy for your friend until you realize all the special occasions when you would normally meet won't happen. Even though you and your friend knew those would come again and far ahead, but once again, they can't make it. The denial vanishes and the words 'I knew' roll inside your head, because you knew it would happen. Once your friend gets that someone, they have to make decisions in their life. Friendship comes one of the last things, because they have to juggle between their date, work and maybe own family. They aren't anymore free and single who is ready to mingle. You get left behind, and it leaves sadness inside of you. You know you might sound selfish while wishing it wouldn't be like that, but the truth is...it hurts. It f*cking hurts lot of, because you realize you're drifting slowly apart from your bestie. Your oldest friend and you can't do anything to it, expect accept it and try pretend to be happy while you feel hurt and just sad.
But maybe...maybe after given time, I won't anymore feel so sad and hurt. After all, I've already accepted the fact I might lose her for good, because she won't have that little time she used to had. That our friendship will turn into that we will ask from each other "how was your day?" "Good." and nothing else. Yet I'll still wish her all happiness and good luck, because no matter what, she is my dearest and oldest friend whom I love.